May 9, 2003
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so much for that huh?
ive been waxing sentimental these days.
ever feel like youve stepped into a time warp? transported, via the Matrix perhaps, to a time when all that mattered were comics, swimming pools and roller skating. the warm weather mixed with a dash of newness in my life and a cup of robert carter’s influence have sent me on this fantastic voyage. a voyage deep into the inner networks of Zion (memory?).
so yeah, im at the shell mart closest to my humble hovel. its approximately 1:30 in the am and im highly intoxicated. not drunk, stoned (my first problem).
dunazade stays in the car while i attempt to procure snack cakes from this all night sundries jobber. after securing a selection of sweets stout enough to set off a diabetic coma, i approach the counter. nothing new here, just a grotesquely tall woman named francine ive seen like a million times before.
sifting through my confections, francine comments ”looks like you dont do much baking…” i respond with “hostess does all the baking in my house.” she chuckles, i follow. nothing new here.
cut to a couple of papa johns pizza guys entering the store.
what theyre talking about i dont know. its very loud though. at first word im thinking “oh shit, theyre gonna hold up the store and kill me and francine. i cant go like this, not with d in the car and me in my boxer shorts.” then i realize theyre a couple of nerds, one talking about doing some shit in his grannie’s basement…something along the lines of installing more computers and setting up some gaming equipment. dangerous? never. predictable? always! i, however, was stoned. my extreme powers of perception and telepathy were on the fritz.
then francine starts in with entirely too much convo for my stoned ass. shes all “i cook for my grand babies on my days off…i make cookies, lasagna and pies. they really love it.” sensing the need to change the subject so that i may leave sometime soon, i ask how she manages to enjoy this line of work seeing as it could be really dangerous. she replies, again wordy, with “yeah sugar, ive been robbed three times!” im not going to get out of this one, so i shut up. plain and simple. collect my suzie q’s, my fried lemon pies, my grandma’s chocolate chip cookies and various other baked goods. to the door dickcarter, to the door.
francine bids me farewell, thanks me for my patronage as i exit. d hears the entire story in the car ride home, to which she comments “damn…thats some fucked up shit.”
the moral? drink more!
or…
nerds are cool. they dont hurt anybody, they dont steal from decent people and they certainly dont want any trouble. im mixing. im preheating. im nearly baked. guess francine was wrong (sort of? but was mobydick right?).
more nerds plz!
dickcarter, N.E.R.D. (Never Ever Releasing the Drink)
Comments (3)
I remember that, not all too well though. Must be my memory…hmmm…wonder what could be causing these memory lapses? Then again I do remember your post about drinking…maybe your memory is going too.
Don’t turn your back on the nerds less you forgot Revenge of the Nerds Parts I, II and III.
D-
piss off@! i happen to like d&d and axis and allies. and if im not telling tales out of school, id have to say that you do as well!
so there miss smarty pants!
dickcarter, way doped up on shrooms
D&D is awesome! I love it when NERDS come up and say I can put a virus on your computer, I am a hacker….OOOOOO!!! Lot of those around! Especially many of them don’t know where the any key is! LOL!