visit me, a request, please won't you come

to leave me an empty nest

so unlike the rest

so soon, a detest, you must leave as you've come

or stay on straight away

no back logged fee for night or day

the room, my bequest, an addled mess i've become

but blame the broken lamps on you

so not shall i be so boring and blue

laundry, then sweep, lemon zest, and clean the walls some

so that i should get mine rest

come through it all with a pretty clean vest

and pulling so tight a tight locked chest of rum

-dc

miserable myspace.  how i love to hate you.

not unlike many others (ive known a few), i usually consider myself to be an intelligent [soon-to-be middle aged] man.  so i wonder.  i wonder why i am hooked on tablogs ©.  i cant get enough.  perezhilton to gossip rocks to pink.  i love the stuff.  im not buying the rags as often even.  pure insanity.  and so soon it will fade.

wikicarter

postum scrotum: i entered the above copyrighted word into wiktionary as a protologism.  i hope it like totally catches on.

have you been to any of the major media outlets' web news sites lately?  i cant figure out to whom they are, quite literally, aiming?  cho, seung-hui is dead.  the reasons for mass sympathy/circles of mourning are frightening, on the genial side; very disturbing in a bleak house.  whats going on here folks? 

best get our shit together.  quite literally.

dickcarter, Mrs. Jellyby

A response to CNN.com's Roland Martin's "Commentary: Imus might be spark for debate on sexism."

Dearest Cable News Network,
CNN contributor Roland Martin's "expose" of the sexist nature of America and the racism that he delightfully connected to Rosa Parks is a disgrace. You seriously think this man is worth paying? He is a joke. My friends and I know it, and I suspect many others too.

"America, we have a problem with sexism. Don't try to make this whole matter about the ridiculous rants made by rappers. I deplore what's in a lot of their music and videos, but hip-hop is only 30 years old. So you mean to tell me that sexism in America only started in 1977?"

Is he serious? He is dancing around issues left and right...mostly the latter I presume. Free speech notwithstanding, where is the honesty? That's been my question all through this Imess. Nobody has the guts? They're not informed? What's funniest to me though, I would have always assumed that to get a job working for CNN, one would have to really qualify. To be, as the bloated ballers say, at the top of the game. Intelligent, ethical, dedicated and such. I, not unlike Mr. Martin, am wrong.

"Now is the time for this nation to undergo a direct examination of the depths of sexism. My media colleagues shouldn't go just for the easy target ­ rap lyrics. That is no doubt a logical next step, but sexism is so much deeper. It is embedded in our churches, synagogues, mosques, schools, Fortune 500 companies and in the political arena. We should target our resources to this issue and raise the consciousness of people, and expose the reality." Dr. King he is not. But then again, no one is nor can be. I'm guessing that your network wouldn't allow an honest exposure of this and other racist and sexist rants. Martin and Imus are one in the same. Both delusional and told, on a daily basis, that somebody, somewhere is in dire need of listening to what they say. Ughhhh...

Take this opportunity, someone please, and grow. CNN could do it. Lead by example. There is money in honesty. Your ratings would soar. The future market demands it...get in on the bit now and blaze a new path. One that rewards honest, ethical journalism with a peaceful night's sleep, and denies petty, band-aid-on-the-black-eye banality. So very dumb.

Sincerely,
DickCarter

RAG FEVER

Angelina Jolie's recent baby buy Free Trade Certified.

Anna Nicole Smith laying around heaven, abusing Rx narcotics.

Lonnie Anderson and Burt Reynolds restored to their original glory. 

Paris Hilton waiting for another handsome billionaire to find interest in her.

Lindsay Dee Lohan's mother tells and bares all!

Tom and Katie splitting...our sides!

PRETENDER®

Newsworthy Nuggets

Raleigh, NC

In a frequent yet conventional move, all charges were dismissed against three white Duke lacrosse players accused of kidnapping and raping a young black woman frequently cited and completely believable as "a troubled soul."  In statements made by the three honky hunks, they pointed to "flaws in the legal system that should be addressed."  The exonerees addressed what ALL black folks have known for several hundred years: rich, white assholes do what they want; innocence notwithstanding.  "Many [poor, despicable black] people [such as the plaintiff] across this country, across this state would not have the opportunity that we [stinkin' rich assholes] did, and she, er, this could simply have been raped, er, brushed underneath the broken bathroom light, er, rug..."  As their stories began to lose momentum, several lawyer birds flew them away to a nice cozy country club nest to be vomit fed by cardinal sins.  The accuser could not be heard for comment on the outcome.  Her gag order was securely knotted and soaked in desperate dishonesty.

 TREATMENT PLAN

Won't you gimme 12 steps, gimme 12 steps mister, gimme 12 steps towards the door?  Gimme 12 steps, gimme 12 steps mister, and you'll never see me no more!

"Recovery works!" says overweight, undersexed counselor.

Let go and let God?  But WWJD?

these wars just got a little chillier...
putin's words have got to sting.

bush's monkey show business just lost a clown or two...
the mushroom heads will cut and run soon.

oh happy day!

if i remember my law school (liquor and love, they just dont mix), i do believe little vickie lynn jr. and her legal guardian can pursue the untold marshall millions.  hmm, who will it be?  will those bankruptcy bitches feel bad for her?   will jay mohr's twin brother get to be the father he always wanted to...play on tv?  or, will howard stern implant daniel lynn's secretly frozen dna into his own tissue so as to continue his work creeping all of us the fuck out?

i just dont know, but the howard stern angle flushes tighter and tighter. 

dickcarter,  so [not]rageous!

hey blogging usa: if you cant find it, grind it!

dearest corporate mother and father,
     despite our most sincere efforts, we continue to let you down.  disappointment all around...round and round.  we just cant seem to get it out of our heads these days.  shame to be true.  but blame is so not new.

     to get to the point, mom and dad, we need more stuff.  what we have is so dated; dusty.  can we have some more now, please?  we are bored and you always say were most obtrusive when bored.  and since youre so mad at us anyway, cant you just give us some more stuff and well be nicer and even listen in church.

     you know where we are.  thats right, just were you told us to stay.  we promise again that we will be happy with what we get and will wait a very long time until we ask for anything new again.  double promise on the drop.

     thank you sooo much and we love you sooo much. 

obligingly,

mr. and mrs. joe meatball