May 12, 2003

• In honor (or perhaps repetitive imitation?) of MarkAllen, I offer an intimate glimpse into dickcarter's personal motivation...his force conduisant!

  
  

  And so, without further manipulation, my very own weekly Top 10:

  
  

  

  
  

  1.  RADIOHEAD

  
  

  ive recently become one.  i never thought i would.  in fact, i vehemently denied the possibility.  even still i cant believe it.  i have to know its true though...i just spent much time and frustration burning the new record hail to the thief.  what am i thinking?  sure, many would say that im a little late recognizing true talent (spin to name one source), but the hook grabbed me when it did.  my sense of denial is moot, im a full throttle fan.  is there an official club?  the radioheads?  cuz im there...under a big top at the freakshow working on my new math:  2+2=5.  damn straight!

  
  

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  2.  MAD MUSHROOM MEMORIES

  
  

  the first time i tried mushrooms, i vomited all over my cinder block cell.  i did, however, manage to get some down, and wow, it was a living, breathing dream!  the year, 1990.  the occasion, eastern ky colonels vs. western ky hilltoppers (yeah, i dont know what that is either).  a sunny and mild saturday afternoon.  me, a can of coke and a bag of shrooms.  open mouth, insert shit covered veggie, chew vigorously, swallow, chase with cola, gag, vomit.  repeat. 

  
  

  "the hill" just north of roy kidd stadium never looked so inviting.  and never did monica, kelly and sabrina seem so beautiful.  the momentum, the gang, the band, the booze, the crowd...everything was as it should have been, and never would be again.  bliss.   

  
  

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  3.  POSITIVE ROLE MODELS

  
  

  am i to blame, or is it the fault of someone else.  if i had one, would i be better?  different?  productive?  i dont really know, but i certainly feel safe to assume that the influence would affect my daily affirmations.  in a positive way?  yeah, i think so.  but where to find one?  i dont know any...any that i care to know anyway.  i cant buy one.  books only make me feel guilty; not smart enough.  tv offers nothing in the way of connection.  three pcs only serve the neglectful consumer in me.  d and i discussed this very topic last night, returning from a day long adventure with moms in the country that shaped us.  did we come to any conclusions i could safely quote here?  nah.  did we beat a dead horse?  yeah.  somebody send me an angel...right now.

  
  

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  4.  A MARVEL UNIVERSE

  
  

  i wanna go!

  
  

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  5.  TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE?

  
  

  nosce te ipsum.  know thyself.  what does it mean to know thyself?  its been said that you cant master something (anything?) without knowing it.  to master self then would certainly require knowledge of self.  so why does it seem as if no one really knows who theyre made of? 

  
  

  have you ever noticed how some folks float through life disregarding certain personal questions?  i have.  ive got dozens of friends and contemporaries who do just that.  oh sure, theyll give you some bullshit answer, plead a privacy clause or blow it off as irrelevant to their particular concern, but they have to think about it, dont they (pathological defense notwithstanding)?  i mean i realize everybody lies.  and yes, i painfully realize the ppl i associate with lie more than most.  but if theyre lying to me and all others, who are they truthful with?  do they really know themselves?  do i really know them?

  
  

  ask yourself one plaguing question every night before you sleep.  summon up a devil or two or repeat one youve been asked.  make it hard now.  its got to come from deep inside.  no silly "what color are my eyes?" questions.  nothing that anybody with a current subscription to Maxim could answer.  then study the solutions.  youll be surprised at what kinds of answers start popping up.  and from the assortment, sift through and find the most applicable (more than one may apply...i never said we werent complex).  go with that and wallow in the glory of discovering a fraction of you, remembering that a fraction is just a shorthand way of expressing a division problem.  so keep it up, bridge the division and maybe you could master yourself.  nascor nasci natus compos sui...to be reborn a master of himself.  to be a master is to be at peace.  go on, give it a try.  i could use a little more truth in my life.   

  
  

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  6.  VARIETE FRANCAISE

  
  

  such lovely words.

  
  

  i recently read that in 1948, parisian cafe singer turned global phenom, edith piaf, sang privately to gore vidal (more below) and anais nin.  anais didnt care for the serenade (she hardly knew it was happening...busy studying the mexican serving staff).  gore loved it.  she was distant, while he connected. 

  
  

  you may know of mirwais (post madonna, who doesnt?).  you may have heard of the band air.  you may even be an edith piaf fan.  either way, original french music can be stunningly elegant, sending romantic notes deep into your soul.  my current connection was a matter of mistake.  searching through winamp i discovered a singer named Alizée.  im not entirely certain how this artist's music ended up on my machine, but i have come to love her special brand of burning desire.  her name was mispelled, as was the song's title, so it took some time to complete my research.  i discovered Gourmandises and the hit (french, mind you) "Moi...Lolita."  the record is smooth, missing nary a beat as she covers topics ranging from sexual innuendo to political turmoil (further detail as soon as i wrangle d into correctly translating).  another track, "L'Alizé," is equally as gentle, but with a more american flare.  her most recent recordings come from the april 2003 release Mes Courants Electriques (my current electronics), from which ive been samely satisfied.  vive la belle musique.  vive la bon vivant!

  
  

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  7.  GORE VIDAL AND THE AMERICAN SPIRIT

  
  

  to answer the question "who are your american idols?" i formerly referred to such notable newsmakers as abraham lincoln, eleanor roosevelt and jesus christ (yes virginia, jesus was american).  notnymore...

  
  

  not that i havent followed gore's work for the better part of my adult life.  i have.  but, i never knew him as i now know him.  subsequently, i realize ive been somewhat consumed with his life and loves of recent and blogged accordingly on several occassions, but i must include him in my top 10...any top 10! 

  
  

  gore vidal resonates with the american dream.  he lives in italy.  he's a fantastic author, with a catalog consisting of such paramount works as Williwaw, The City and the Pillar (to which certain critics banished his retreatable reviews from their illustrious newspapers) and the way too ahead of its time and still controversial Myra Breckinridge.  hes an established playwright and essayist.  he loved anais nin and hated truman capote.  he served in world war II.  his grandfather was the pioneering blind senator from oklahoma, t.p. gore.  his father was the henry ford of aviation, who, along with partners like amelia earhart, founded several airlines, including twa.  hes related to the late jackie o.  however, the best part is he abhorred abraham lincoln (or at least the concept of lincoln), the roosevelts (anti imperialistic?  si!) and yes, even jesus christ.  ive been a big fool!

  
  

  but perhaps the most vidalian assertion one can cite is a statement he made in a 1972 magazine interview. "There is not one human problem that could not be solved," said vidal, "if people would simply do as I advise." so for more than 50 years now, he has advised us about politics, history, culture and the importance of separating the public from the private, leaving to caesar (the film Caligula was based on his original screenplay) what is caesar's and to freedom what is rightfully ours.  god bless gore vidal and god bless america (blasphemous?)!

  
  

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  8.  HOTORNOT.COM

  
  

  the concept, while not entirely original, was decided upon when a couple of regulars got together, concluding that most men rate women on a scale of 1 to 10 (one being the lowest...) when sitting around in bars, subway cars, restaurants and at home on their asses.  the premise was born.  but, what do we have to see the "genius" behind their work besides an addiction without limits...without prescription?  nothing more than a collection, 6,400,000 strong, of humans ranging from the most ghastly beasts who should be no more than negatively notated (no, the rating scale doesnt go down that far...a dickcarter descriptor) to a generous, plus sided 10. 

  
  

  so why the fascination?  i picked up on this trend while in law school.  the dude that sat in front of brian (pickaway) and i was forever failing to pay attention in class, with his fastidious fascinations tuned into hotornot.com, or ratemyboobs.com, or some such shit.  i was objectionable at first (of course), but in time grew to channel my property passions toward a more pleasing passtime.  enter hotornot.com. 

  
  

  since then, its been forgotten, but george (derp) assisted in my redsicovery.  at his suggestion, i posted my own pic (went from a 9.1 to an 8.1...i expected a solid 10 you know) and began my reeducation. 

  
  

  so here we are, where we were, back on everything!

  
  

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  9.  THE CATLETTSBURG THREE

  
  

  why these three young men from eastern kentucky are on my list i really dont know.  i can only assume its because of their exteme interest in all that i (dunazade, mobydick and missshaywallace) do, say and feel.  or maybe its because of their extreme indifference that screams mature, experienced quasi intellectuals with a cause (their ages' an immature median of 21...their iq's unknown).  or maybe, just maybe, its the non-stop, categorical explanation each one provides regarding their particular place within a group...within a stagnant subculture (one is an obvious over compensator, one moody and confused, and one reluctant participant-cum-peace keeper...nothing offensive you understand.  merely an observation based on actual (perhaps?) testimony).

  
  

  whatever it may be, i like em!  they interest me.  good job boys!

  
  

  oh yeah, who are they?  Shawn, Nick, and Daniel.  lookit! 

  
  

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  10.  SHINGLES

  
  

  my mom has this disease.  weird!

  • 8:15 pm
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